So me and certain person broke up Sunday night because I caught him talking to other girls like a skeeze lol. And wow I have been devastated about it since then. But today, for some odd reason, I really feel okay. I have wanted him back these past few days, but now I really don’t and I just feel disgusted and really turned off.

Last night was terrible. He picked me up in his car and we drove around just talking about it, and he said he just doesn’t think it’s possible for him to feel the same about me again and that he is out of love. For some dumb reason, I cried really hard and was almost begging him to please try and work things out with me, but he wouldn’t budge. So he drove me home and I swear to god, from the moment I stepped out that car I started feeling better.

I still feel a little anxious, and the worst part is that I sit behind him in class and park next to him at school. But I’m in such a driven mindset to get over it, that it is bothering me less and less every single day. It would be ideal to just not see him ever, but whatever, I have to deal with things and it is making me so much stronger. I really love ignoring him and I feel better not having to worry about anything he does. It is honestly relieving. I just hope he knows what gave up and I really hope it eats away at him.

I was so sad before and was just telling everyone that he was a giant waste of time and he took advantage of me, which is true, but yesterday someone said to me “I don’t think any relationship is a waste of time, especially if you took something from it”, and wow I’ll never forget that. It has only been a day that we have been absolutely officially broken up, and I already feel like I have learned so much about myself. I have gained so much. After I feel completely established again, I think I will be the happiest I have ever been in my life. This happened for a reason, because I needed to learn, and I can’t help but feel so appreciative because lately I have never felt more myself or more confident. Lol I almost want to thank the kid.

I feel like I have a lot of thinking to do.

My boyfriend just called me clingy and I really agree with him. I’m really angry with myself and I’m really sad. I think we need to take a break apart from each other. I’m not the kind of person that clings, people usually cling to me. I am so not used to this and I’m feeling really bad right now.

I think I’m going to tell him we need some time apart. I think that will be best for the relationship. 

Really proud of myself for yesterday.

I didn’t feel like working out at all, and I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and then workout 1 of the 30 Day Shred. I felt really great.

Also, my boyfriend told me my legs looked really good and he can already see a difference in them :) I’ve been putting a lot of stress on them for the past five days and I intend to keep it up.

Anyway! Just did 20 minutes on the elliptical. Now i’m gonna do some Pop Pilate’s ass workouts.

I want a nice ass so bad. 

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